Householder,
Do Not Think It is More Difficult
All the utensils of the monastery and in fact everything that belongs to the monastery should be cared for as though they were the sacred vessels of the altar.”
In Chapter 31, Benedict talks about the qualities and duties of a cellarer. The cellarer is in charge of all the monastery’s goods, utensils and provisions. He interacts with the members of the community in this role. Benedict stresses that the cellarer should be mindful of the sacredness of every aspect when carrying out his duties.
My father was the cellarer in our family. It was a calling. He was trained for it by his grandmother who raised him from an early age. She was a devout woman who valued kindness above all else. She was quite poor and sold homemade bread and took in wash from others to make ends meet. My dad, Jim, was at her side most days helping her with whatever needed to be done. This included doing the laundry by hand, beating rugs, cleaning, baking, and yard work. I don’t know if the teasing by others, especially boys, bothered him. I do know that as a man he remembered his childhood with his grandmother with gratitude and joy.
In January 1942 at age eighteen, he eloped with my mother and then joined the navy. After the war, he and my mother, Helen, began their family, raising three boys. Both worked, with my dad working two jobs. Each did whatever was needed in our family, but my dad was the cellarer. He did the food shopping, most of the cooking, laundry, housecleaning and many of the other things that are part of running a household. Dinner would be on the table for us Monday through Thursday at five o’clock before he left to drive truck for ten hours. My mom returned home from her job later in the evening. He did the food shopping and finances on Fridays after driving school bus. Saturday, he did the laundry. On Sundays my mother often cooked.
I cannot remember him ever complaining about any of it. He was devoted to it, as he was to my mother and the three of us. He seldom went out with friends, although others enjoyed his company. His care of his family and running a household were sacred duties for him. He performed them with the gentle kindness and devotion that grew from the love and work he had experienced with his grandmother.
Years later, my mother was diagnosed with emphysema. As she continued to smoke, her health worsened and she was forced to quit work. My father cared for her for ten years as she declined, unable to be the full partner she had been. He now managed everything. He bathed and fed her. He moved her from bed to living room and back. When she became bedridden, he massaged her skin to prevent bedsores. In her final years, he retired early to give her round the clock care. His duties had increased and changed, but his devotion was steadfast, perhaps even growing.
Besides managing the “goods, utensils, and provisions” of which Benedict speaks, I believe that he cared for the divine in her that was housed in her withered, failing body. Is this projection on my part? I don’t know. I can only tell you that I remember him loving her with a love that seemed greater than that of one person for another. His example, his life of carrying out his cellarer duties, especially in the midst of such monumental heartache is the most powerful spiritual teaching I have ever received.
Author: Zhong Fen li Bao yu Di
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