Inspired by the Open Truth of the Sky
As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: Turn away from your desires; and in the Lord’s Prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfillment in us.
At the Adult Enrichment Group meeting several Sundays ago at St. Nicks Catholic Church, I found myself immersed in a compelling inter-faith dialogue. Buddhists and Catholics gathered to listen to each other and test our understandings of faith in light of the views of those from another tradition.
It was a powerful experience for me, both the respect I felt from my Catholic peers, and the rigor of the debate between us. Though our discussion was over before real differences could be deeply probed, those differences were not insignificant. I felt inspired to be a rigorous student of the Way, to be constantly honing my knowledge and understanding, not resting on easy assumptions about Buddhism, so that in conversation with others I could accurately represent the heart of the Buddha’s teachings to those who are open and listening, as were the participants that day. It felt important to do this, not only for my own edification, but so that this thing we call God, this thing we circle and circle, trying to find our way to, could be better known by all of us.
So, I left St. Nick’s that day with a better sense of some of Buddhism’s differences with Christianity, but also inspired by the deep and real similarities in our traditions, despite differences of language, tone, history, culture. I have felt that same feeling throughout this process of reading and reflecting upon Benedict’s Rule. That it calls me constantly to reach more deeply inside myself to find words that pierce MY heart, whichever tradition they may arise from. I am called by this process not to rest in my desires for easy solutions, for quick dismissals of another’s tradition, in fact, not to reject in any way this other facet of spiritual life called Christianity. I am called to keep my heart open not to my will, or to my most visceral responses to differences, but to Truth.
I was raised a Lutheran but my faith, tested in adolescence, did not hold. I rejected Christianity, I rejected God for many years. In my youthful arrogance, I divided the world into right and wrong….and…. the church was wrong. But more centrally, there was little in the church’s teachings that I felt faithful toward. My heart was not in it.
Because Buddhism was, to my beginner’s mind, very much NOT like Christianity, I could open to these teachings and put my resistance toward religion aside. As my love for the Buddha grew, and I would have moments of sudden insight into the heart of the teachings, I would be brought back to the words of liturgy or hymns I sang or chanted on Sundays at Our Savior’s Lutheran Church. It was with surprise and joy that I welcomed these bits of my Christian past back into my consciousness. Who knew THAT was still in me?!
And yet…….and yet, the use of the word “God” coming from my teacher, this I choked on. I wanted to keep God out of MY spiritual life. It was best to stay wrapped in Buddhist teachings, holding the dharma close, keeping the rest of religion at bay. It felt clearer, it had more integrity in my mind, to remain in the purity of THIS way.
What I could not dismiss was the notion put forward by my teacher that all religions were speaking, ultimately, of the same thing. This I could neither accept or reject, as I had no experience at all of that which she described. Then this, too, changed. A veil was lifted from my eyes, and I entered a circle of bright light where differing notions of the Way have no purchase. I felt divinity itself moving through me, and the possibility of surrender to Absolute truth began to live as a possibility in my heart.
Looking back over the 50 years that have led me to the life of a monk, I now realize that I was never far from That which has guided me here. I was unable to open to this guidance for all those years. My drive, ambition and pride stood in for the Divine as my compass. It has only been as a result of turning away from ego-based desires, often with great trepidation, and only because I felt my teacher at my side, that I was shown the way to go home, where my heart has so long yearned to go.
It is with deep gratitude that I have entered into this process of studying Benedict’s Rule and coming to know it through the lens of Buddhist interpretations. I appreciate the imperative to honor Benedict’s wisdom while also leaving room for the possibility that I may not agree. It requires a rigorous commitment to truth, to appreciate the meanings I hear in the Benedictine tradition, whose language and culture are not my own, and to let them into my heart anyway. To respect them as if St. Benedict himself were sitting just behind me, paper cup of coffee in hand, at the Sunday morning meeting of St. Nick’s Adult Enrichment Group.
And for us to remember that the Buddha is sitting in the room, robes tightly wrapped around him (he isn’t used to February’s chill) and that he is smiling at Benedict, across the heads of people deeply engaged in serious debate, many hearts yearning to see Truth, opening to love in true humility.
Author: Getsu San Ku Shin
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