February 25th – Winter Retreat

Aspire to Be Holy

No one should aspire to gain a reputation for holiness.  First of all we must actually become holy then there would be some truth in having a reputation for it.  The way to become holy is faithfully to fulfill God’s commandments every day by loving chastity, by hating no one, by avoiding envy and hostile rivalry, by not becoming full of self but showing respect for our elders and love for those younger, by praying in the love of Christ for those who are hostile to us, by seeking reconciliation and peace before the sun goes down whenever we have a quarrel with another, and finally never despairing of the mercy of God.

Benedict’s Rule Chapter 4 – Guidelines for Christian and Monastic Good Practice, Section 11

 

The longest Chapter in Benedicts Rule is Chapter 4 on Guidelines for Christian and Monastic Good Practice.  In this chapter he is trying to help a group of people learn to live together.  The chapter is full of good counsel:  control your body with self discipline, refrain from speaking evil, don’t be lazy, keep the reality of death always before your eyes, avoid empty talk, confess to God with real repentance.  People in monasteries or in lay-life could be well-served to follow his counsel.  There is a deep morality in what he is offering.

In Buddhist teaching moral conduct (sila), is a first step to having a calm mind.  Without this, spiritual practice is impossible.  And I think that this is what Benedict is getting at.  In the section quoted above, he finally gets to holiness.  He says that the only way to holiness is to follow God’s commandments every day.  Again, probably good advice…but here is the problem I see and the problem Benedict saw.  We can gain a reputation for holiness, we can do all the right things and not be holy.  A reputation can be faked or polished or enhanced.  We can look good and still hold back.  Our doing good can be self-serving, as in we want to look good.

Holiness comes from the word whole.  Being holy takes whole-hearted effort.  Not half-hearted effort or effort when we can get something in return.  One can’t do holiness, one must be holy.

Let me give you an example.  When I was ten, we flew to New York City to attend my Jewish grandparent’s 50^th wedding anniversary.  We stayed with my father’s sister in the biggest house I had ever been in.  The house had a formal dining room, more bedrooms and bathrooms that I could imagine and they had a live-in cook.  The anniversary party was in March, the middle of Lent.  My Mother, a practicing Catholic, was fasting.  I remember getting up early one morning and going to look for her.  I found her in the kitchen having a conversation with the cook while she ate a soft boiled egg and one piece of toast.  She skipped the big breakfast we all had in the dining room.  I also remember her coming into the house early on the one Sunday morning we were in New York.  She called for a taxi to take her to Mass.  She gave me, my sister and brother a dispensation, but she got herself to Mass.

In my memory, my Mother was wholly committed to practicing her catholic faith in what must have been a difficult situation.  It seems to me that she lived and practiced her faith, not because she had to abide by all the rules, not because she was afraid of falling into mortal sin, not because she was trying to impress someone else.  She just lived and practiced her faith.  What is surprising to me, some sixty years later I remember these two scenes.

A lot happened the ten days we were in New York, a lot that I don’t remember.  I do remember seeing my Mother eating in the kitchen.  What was it about this that I understood as a 10-year old?  After reflecting on Benedict’s quote, I would say it was holiness…not someone seeking a reputation for holiness, but the real thing.

Following commandments or precepts can help us find wholeness.  This practice of following rules is one step on a long journey that can lead to holiness. When we experience wholeness in ourselves or see it in someone else we can know when it is honest, when it is without pretense.  But if we are looking for holiness/wholeness as a destination, a result for following rules, we miss the boat.  As I said, I always thought of my mother as a practicing Catholic.  What I saw that morning in New Rochelle was a glimpse of my mother’s practice…honest and without pretense.  Honest, steadfast, without pretense were qualities she exemplified. And today as an adult….I see similar qualities of holiness exemplified here at St. Nick’s in the faithful, steadfast, and never give up qualities of Sister Christina. When she’s in town she’s at daily Mass. Time and time again I have seen her steadfast, never give up practice of her faith. Neither of them aspired to become holy, they lived faithful to their path. This is what seems to be the message of Benedict….for all of us.