Piercing the Heart
Listen child of God….attend to the message you hear and make sure it pierces your heart.”
Each morning, I chant Tenzo’s Prayer after I meditate. It begins with the instruction, “Pay full attention to all work. The way-seeking mind is actualized by rolling up your sleeves.” The Prayer ends with the Tenzo (a cook) replying to the question, “What is practice?” Answering, he says, “There is nothing in the world that is hidden from it.”
Tenzo’s Prayer and the quote from Benedict’s Rule seem to make a similar point.
Everything that happens in each moment comes to awaken us. Everything that comes into our lives has spiritual meaning in addition to its meaning in our daily material existence. But, we must listen, attend to the message, roll up our sleeves in order to hear it….to discover it.
Two incidents illustrate this for me.
Often as I enter my grocery store, someone is there asking for money…different people on different days. For some months, there was a woman who sold Streetwise, a newspaper published and sold by homeless individuals. She was quite engaging and greeted shoppers with a dazzling smile and pleasant demeanor. She was there most days regardless of the weather. Eventually she moved on because of good fortune. A wonderful story, but I thought about it no further.
More recently, a different person arrived, regularly asking for money. She had neither a dazzling smile nor a pleasant demeanor and she was demanding. Additionally, I had heard unflattering things about her. After a time, I noticed that I was getting annoyed with her and was reluctant to give her money.
Then slowly, I began noticing that my irritation with her was now irritating me. Several days ago, I thought, what on earth is going on here? I began to reflect on it. When I ceased focusing on the two women and began to look within, at what I was doing, I saw clearly what I was up to. I was liking, disliking, judging. And it all rested in believing that I could know.
I recalled a line from my daily chanting of the precepts that says, “Realize that likes, dislikes and indifferences of the mind are hindrances to the pure mind.”
I see now that I thought the first woman’s story was wonderful because I liked her. I judged her to be a good person, deserving of generosity and of good things happening to her. I regarded the second woman as unpleasant, demanding, and unattractive. I disliked encountering her and I was withholding towards her. All of this was taking place because I thought I could know… know them, even what was in their hearts. There is much more here for me to deeply reflect upon, but I want to consider a question.
Why was I able to wake up just this little bit?
Since I began training to become a monk last summer, I think I have begun to pay more attention. Nothing magical or mysterious about it. I have been spending more time meditating, writing, reading, chanting, and contemplating in silence and solitude. This deepening of practice, this rolling up my sleeves is supporting me, helping me to focus on the spiritual, so that I am more likely to attend to the messages that come in life in a way that pierces my heart. I understand better that spiritual work and effort is key, if I hope to awaken, even this little bit.
Author: Zhong Fen li Bao yu Di
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