Category: Practices and Retreats

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March 5th – Winter Retreat

Monastic Obedience

The first step on the way to humility is to obey an order without delaying for a moment. That is a response which comes easily to those who hold nothing dearer that Christ himself.”

In my professional life, I reacted negatively to the word obedience. It referred to persons having power over others and using it to impose their will on them….an imposed obedience.

In my spiritual work, three things have helped me understand obedience differently.

First, I have a teacher. Her teachings and the form of Zen which she asks that I follow have broadened my understanding of obedience. She asks that I adhere to form and ritual for services in the zendo, for participating in retreats, for meetings with her, and for my training. She does not make demands or promises. She does offer suggestions. She stresses that I should not believe what she says…. that this is my practice and I should investigate for myself. She often states she can only point in a direction. During individual meetings, she asks questions and offers observations, teachings and suggestions about how to practice. She is warm, but does not coddle.  She frequently says that this practice is not for everyone….do it or don’t, it is up to me.

The obedience I practice with her is a surrendering to her teaching and what is in my heart. It rests on respect, a willingness to share in her truth and to investigate it for myself. It supports me, but it challenges me to let go of clinging to my old habits, thinking and desires and instead asks that I surrender to the precepts.

Secondly, some say the only rule of Zen is, to begin and continue. It is a rule I want to obey. I had valued continuing in my professional life. I now practice each morning to reflect on it. I draw strength from it when I am stymied or feel defeated. It reminds me that the way forward is linked to my own effort and attention. It triggers me to remember to obey other directives such as to pay attention to just what is in front of me, to restrain myself from being carried off by my thinking, and to ask for help. Obeying such instructions, I am better able to focus on what is going on within me instead of getting caught up in reacting to that which surrounds me.

Finally, my willingness to obey is strengthened by moments when I have unexpectedly reacted to some event from some place deep, absent my thinking and consideration and uncharacteristic of my small self. This happened in 2012, when a security guard in Florida shot and killed a young man. In the opinion of many, including me, the killing was unjustified. Many demanded charges be brought.  I suddenly became uncontrollably grief stricken for the man who did the shooting. I did not reason my way to this reaction. I did not have words to talk about it. It just arose in me. My heart opened in a way that I had never experienced.

Upon reflection and discussion with my teacher, I believe my reaction was a result of all that is my practice and evidence of a knowing faith that has emerged in me.  Buddhists refer to it with words such as the unborn, undying, unending or mystery. Other religions refer to God. I do not know what to call it. It is something in me and beyond me that opened my heart at that moment in a way that nothing else has. When it happened, it made me want to obey all that this work asks of me.

Humming Bird

Author: Zhong Fen li Bao yu Di

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

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March 4th – Winter Retreat

 

Monastic Obedience

The first step on the way to humility is to obey an order without delaying for a moment.  That is a response which comes easily to those who hold nothing dearer than Christ himself.

In this chapter, Benedict is setting out rules that will allow a group of diverse people to live together, where authority is clearly defined and understood.  In Benedict’s monastic setting an order given by an Abbot should be obeyed, immediately…no questions asked.  And to give a little encouragement, Benedict says that this should be easy for those who see that it is actually Christ who is giving the order.  What could be easier?  If we see the Abbot as a representative of Christ…of course we will quickly obey any order!  If God was here, standing right in front of us we would be crazy not to do what God wants, right?

This is where I disagree with Benedict’s encouragement. Directives directly from God don’t always lead to obedience without delaying for a moment.  Obedience seems to cause humans difficulty.  We humans always have an opinion, a belief or a view that comes quickly to mind when we are given an order.  We delay obeying and offer an argument as to why our opinion, belief or view is superior to the order we are given, even when the person giving the order has a legitimate right to give us the order and expect our compliance with the order.

So we know we have a problem when another human gives us an order…what about when the order comes directly from God?  One of the first stories in the Bible sets out just how difficult obedience is.  Adam and Eve live, actually live, in the presence of God.  God has only one commandment for them, do not eat the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden.  Doesn’t seem too much to ask?  They have everything they could possibly need and they are with God, in the very presence of God.  We all know what happens; they disobey the order given by God.  They held their beliefs, opinions and views as more important than God’s command.

Not wanting to obey an order has been with us for a very long time.

OK so what happens when I am in the midst of a decision to obey or not obey an order?  If my ego self is in charge, my decision is based on greed…I want my own way.  Hate…I hate the person giving the order and do not want to obey.  Or Delusion…I don’t see how clouded my thinking is and ignore the order.  One of these three poisons or all three of them move into my mind in milliseconds.  So…I’ve received an order and before obeying even comes into my mind I find myself arguing or getting defensive. (NOTE:  I’m not talking about being asked to do something immoral or illegal or harmful.)  Over time I become better and better at recognizing the superiority of my views, opinions and beliefs and become less and less able to study what happens at the moment I am asked to do something.

Starting a practice of studying obedience usually means you have to think and analyze what happened after the fact.  Your boss, your partner, your teacher asked you to do something and instead of doing what was ordered, you ended up in an argument leaving both sides disgruntled.  Try to remember back to the moment you heard the command, request, order…which of these words did you hear?  Did the very word that came to your mind make a difference in how you reacted?  What self was trying to take control?  Why did it want control?  What would have happened if you just obeyed the command, the request, the order?  What happens when you argue with the order?

This is how to study the self.  Without this kind of work, studying how we behave, how we think, how we feel we are doomed to a yes, but reactive life.  To practice obedience is to practice just saying yes.  (Note:  I’m not talking about an order to do something immoral, illegal or harmful.)  Practice by just saying, Yes, and then just get on with doing what you were asked to do.  This is spiritual practice.  In the moment of choosing obedience there is freedom.

The last line of the Rumi poem at the beginning of the book says,

While intelligence considers options, I am somewhere lost in the wind.  This is where obeying an order without delaying a moment can take you.

Humming Bird
Author: Lao DiZhi SHakya

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

 

 

 

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February 28th – Winter Retreat

It’s Difficult to Be Faithful

 

“No one should aspire to gain a reputation for holiness. First of all, we must actually become holy; then there would be some truth in having a reputation for it. The way to become holy is faithfully to fulfill God ‘s commandments every day by loving chastity, by hating no one, by avoiding envy and hostile rivalry, by not becoming full of self but showing due respect for our elders and love for those who are younger, by praying in the love of Christ for those who are hostile to us by seeking reconciliation and peace before the sun goes down whenever we have a quarrel with another, and finally by never despairing of the mercy of God.”

Benedict says the way to become holy is “faithfully to fulfill God’s commandments…” He goes on to list the commandments. For me, living faithfully is to study the precepts and follow them. I also use them as tools to help me study myself…. how I get distracted with wanting things in this material world.

To be faithful is difficult. What makes faithfulness difficult: inattention, impatience, and my frustration that I cannot order my small self into being faithful.

One of the precepts says, “I vow not to praise self at the expense of others.” In my professional life, I praised myself over others most days. I often considered political opponents to be bad people rather than people with different interests or a different perspective. I developed a strong tendency to place myself above them. I train now to grind down this tendency.

Since last summer, I have built a trellis as recommended in an early chapter of Benedict’s Dharma. A trellis supports a climbing plant as it grows skyward. I have built mine of daily meditation, silence, solitude, chanting, writing, and study. My teacher is the center post. The particular parts of my trellis may change. Whatever I choose just needs to help hold me upright and faithful. In this case, it needs to help me see my self-praise and restrain it.  Each morning, I meditate, chant, write, and read in order to pay better attention. It has helped me notice that self-praise arises whenever I offer opinions. The thrust of my job was to offer opinions and convince others. This tendency is harmful in the context of my personal relationships. My opinions often denigrate others and elevate myself. The self-praise embedded in my opinions also leads to violating other precepts, like grasping to take credit, harboring ill will, and speaking without kindness or compassion. My daily morning work helps me more clearly see what is going on, so I can let go….in this case to let go of my need to offer my opinions.

I do the rituals and work with the precepts each morning because they are useful only if I spend time with them, soak in them.

Later in the day, I copy the New Testament. I have become interested in Christ, primarily through art. His example of surrender and living without fear have grabbed hold of me.  Copying the New Testament each day also helps me to pay full attention. Christ repeatedly speaks of “moving through the world of men with one’s eyes on the kingdom of heaven.” His words are like looking into still, clear water. They let me glimpse what lies deeper. I also carry with me the image of an El Greco painting. It depicts the moment when Christ said farewell to his mother in anticipation of his betrayal and death on the cross. When I saw it, I understood surrender and began to move towards it.

My work with the Bible resulted from a knowing faith that has emerged in me…. that I am more than this body, this mind, these thoughts, and this moment. I have not had this knowing faith very long. It is new. But it is there and it grows. I don’t force myself to think about it. It arose from my practice onto a trellis, and grows skyward.

With the trellis and the knowing faith that has taken root in my heart, may I let go of the non-essential and faithfully embrace the precepts.

Humming Bird

Author: Zhong Fen li Bao yu Di, A monk in training.

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

 

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February 27th – Winter Retreat

Vow to Train

“No one should aspire to gain a reputation for holiness.  First of all, we must actually become holy then there would be some truth in having a reputation for it.  The way to become holy is faithfully to fulfill God’s commandments every day by loving chastity, by hating no one, by avoiding envy and hostile rivalry, by not becoming full of self but showing due respect for our elders and love for those who are younger, by praying in the love of Christ for those who are hostile to us, by seeking reconciliation and peace before the sun goes down whenever we have a quarrel with another, and finally by never despairing of the mercy of God.”

 

Eleven years ago I received the Buddhist Precepts and vowed to train to keep them for the rest of my life: to do good, to do no harm and to benefit all beings.  These are expressed in actual practice as in: do not kill, steal, lie, misuse sexuality or intoxicate. I emphasize ‘train’ for to keep them perfectly is impossible.  The Precepts are guides, instructions to inform my heart/mind on how to live daily.  They lead me in the direction to ‘wholly-ness’. I may lose sight of them but they are always there.

When I first read today’s given passage of St. Benedict’s Rule those precepts came to my mind and I set the two teachings side by side.  Both ask the same generosity of disciples- to not harm, to do good and to care for all beings. I began to work the two together but decided to reread the whole of chapter 4. The chapter burst open. It took on an intimacy I had not seen before.  It hit me that I am still so much the center of my life. I felt a sorrow with the flash of recognition that I hold so much back and give so little.

There also arose delight as I read the whole chapter.  It was as if among all the guidelines, Divinity popped up and said, “Here I am!” and I was surprised into thinking, “Oh, I didn’t see you at first.” It was almost as if I met the Divine face to face.

I picked out lines in the chapter that particularly spoke to me and chose to reflect on one that challenges me. That one tells me to throw my failings down at the feet of the Divine. To do this is to take refuge in the mercy of God for, as St. Benedict reminds us, we are never to despair of that mercy.  It’s letting go of the failings which is the challenge; to just drop the selfish and harmful actions at those feet and not take them back to be gone over again and again; wallowing in guilt and refusing mercy. This letting go also touches my everyday living.

I am practiced in defending myself and making excuses for my mistakes and negligence and of covering up my vulnerability. Again the challenge is to see it, to recognize it without blame and then, change.

Humming Bird

Author: Ho Getsu Sen Gen, A monk in training.

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

 

Posted on

February 26th – Winter Retreat

You Think You Are More Holy Than You Are

No one should aspire to gain a reputation for holiness.  First of all, we must actually become holy; then there would be some truth in having a reputation for it.  The way to become holy is faithfully to fulfill God’s commandments every day by loving chastity, by hating no one, by avoiding envy and hostile rivalry, by not becoming full of self but showing due respect for our elders and love for those who are younger, by praying in the love of Christ for those who are hostile to us, by seeking reconciliation and peace before the sun goes down whenever we have a quarrel with another, and finally by never despairing of the mercy of God.

 

While these essays were being composed, I received from my teacher, also the editor of the essay, a recommendation that I scrap the piece I had written to accompany this quote from Benedict, and begin again.  Her advice was accompanied by thoughtful comments, the gist of which were, “You think you are more holy than you are.”

My mood plummeted.  How could I have been so self-important as to declare myself holy in any way?  I did not like being someone whose ideas were seemingly rejected wholesale.  My teacher suggested that my next attempt focus on my experience of being re-directed. I felt exposed, and daunted by the task ahead.  I wanted to disappear into a hole and not come out until spring.

Instead, I got out my knitting.  I willed myself not to think, just to knit, focusing on each stitch as it made its way from one needle to the other, on the jeweled colors in the yarn as they emerged from the skein. After a few rows, it became clear that I was feeling humiliation, not humility.  OK, I thought, I am caught in my ego.  This clear-seeing was a little beacon of light in the darkness.  I began to trust what was happening.

In the middle of the night, I awoke, already deep in contemplation about the essay.  My first thought: Gratitude for the instructions, “You are still operating from your ego.”  More gratitude for the specific feedback that detailed how the first draft was riddled with self-absorption.  I would have these teachings to work with in the weeks ahead.  More gratitude for my teacher’s mercy, her willingness to instruct me despite my failures. The gratitude was another beacon of light within the darkness I felt.  Gradually, through the hours before dawn, more was seen and understood.

Spiritual practice is primarily a deconstruction project.  We aspire to let go of everything, to know nothing.  We write these essays to show the how of this deconstruction, the how of the Way toward holiness. We want to be holy, yet the eyes we see with, the mind we think with are  SELF absorbed.  We need a way out of the familiar conceptual territory that locks us into the ego.  Sometimes we have to get the rug pulled out, the road blocked.  Having my essay returned with a “false holiness, start over” stamp was such an opportunity.

Past experience with this bottom-dropping-out state has provided me with some tolerance for it, though it remains excruciating in its emptiness, its dark and desolate-ness.  It is uncomfortable there, where what one has always known and relied upon is gone.  Could I continue to trust it?

Over the next few days, the sense of being without a compass returned several times.  It was always unnerving.  I wrote some paragraphs, then discarded them.  Perhaps I needed help.   One morning as I sat with my eyes glued to the computer screen, trying to find a way forward, my eyes came back to the words I had used to describe this lost place as “empty” and “desolate.”  Something inside came together.  This place isn’t dark or desolate; it’s just empty of my thinking about my ego.  I embraced the emptiness, entered into it.  It felt as though my head expanded as my mind too became spacious and open, but also settled and still.

The defeat of the ego is a precious gift.  Both the Buddhist precepts and Christian commandments, as articulated by Benedict, above, are opportunities to hand the ego more moments of defeat.  They are, when faithfully executed, a disengagement from our conceptual mind with its sticky feelings of right and wrong, good and bad; a clear map for how to pull the rug out.

Humming Bird

Author: Getsu San Ku Shin, A monk in training.

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

Posted on

February 25th – Winter Retreat

Aspire to Be Holy

No one should aspire to gain a reputation for holiness.  First of all we must actually become holy then there would be some truth in having a reputation for it.  The way to become holy is faithfully to fulfill God’s commandments every day by loving chastity, by hating no one, by avoiding envy and hostile rivalry, by not becoming full of self but showing respect for our elders and love for those younger, by praying in the love of Christ for those who are hostile to us, by seeking reconciliation and peace before the sun goes down whenever we have a quarrel with another, and finally never despairing of the mercy of God.

Benedict’s Rule Chapter 4 – Guidelines for Christian and Monastic Good Practice, Section 11

 

The longest Chapter in Benedicts Rule is Chapter 4 on Guidelines for Christian and Monastic Good Practice.  In this chapter he is trying to help a group of people learn to live together.  The chapter is full of good counsel:  control your body with self discipline, refrain from speaking evil, don’t be lazy, keep the reality of death always before your eyes, avoid empty talk, confess to God with real repentance.  People in monasteries or in lay-life could be well-served to follow his counsel.  There is a deep morality in what he is offering.

In Buddhist teaching moral conduct (sila), is a first step to having a calm mind.  Without this, spiritual practice is impossible.  And I think that this is what Benedict is getting at.  In the section quoted above, he finally gets to holiness.  He says that the only way to holiness is to follow God’s commandments every day.  Again, probably good advice…but here is the problem I see and the problem Benedict saw.  We can gain a reputation for holiness, we can do all the right things and not be holy.  A reputation can be faked or polished or enhanced.  We can look good and still hold back.  Our doing good can be self-serving, as in we want to look good.

Holiness comes from the word whole.  Being holy takes whole-hearted effort.  Not half-hearted effort or effort when we can get something in return.  One can’t do holiness, one must be holy.

Let me give you an example.  When I was ten, we flew to New York City to attend my Jewish grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary.  We stayed with my father’s sister in the biggest house I had ever been in.  The house had a formal dining room, more bedrooms and bathrooms that I could imagine and they had a live-in cook.  The anniversary party was in March, the middle of Lent.  My Mother, a practicing Catholic, was fasting.  I remember getting up early one morning and going to look for her.  I found her in the kitchen having a conversation with the cook while she ate a soft boiled egg and one piece of toast.  She skipped the big breakfast we all had in the dining room.  I also remember her coming into the house early on the one Sunday morning we were in New York.  She called for a taxi to take her to Mass.  She gave me, my sister and brother a dispensation, but she got herself to Mass.

In my memory, my Mother was wholly committed to practicing her catholic faith in what must have been a difficult situation.  It seems to me that she lived and practiced her faith, not because she had to abide by all the rules, not because she was afraid of falling into mortal sin, not because she was trying to impress someone else.  She just lived and practiced her faith.  What is surprising to me, some sixty years later I remember these two scenes.

A lot happened the ten days we were in New York, a lot that I don’t remember.  I do remember seeing my Mother eating in the kitchen.  What was it about this that I understood as a 10-year old?  After reflecting on Benedict’s quote, I would say it was holiness…not someone seeking a reputation for holiness, but the real thing.

Following commandments or precepts can help us find wholeness.  This practice of following rules is one step on a long journey that can lead to holiness. When we experience wholeness in ourselves or see it in someone else we can know when it is honest, when it is without pretense.  But if we are looking for holiness/wholeness as a destination, a result for following rules, we miss the boat.  As I said, I always thought of my mother as a practicing Catholic.  What I saw that morning in New Rochelle was a glimpse of my mother’s practice…honest and without pretense.  Honest, steadfast, without pretense were qualities she exemplified. And today as an adult….I see similar qualities of holiness exemplified here at St. Nick’s in the faithful, steadfast, and never give up qualities of Sister Christina. When she’s in town she’s at daily Mass. Time and time again I have seen her steadfast, never give up practice of her faith. Neither of them aspired to become holy, they lived faithful to their path. This is what seems to be the message of Benedict….for all of us.

Humming Bird

Author: Lao DiZhi Shakya

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

 

Posted on

February 21st – Winter Retreat

 

The Ensō and Me

 

Listen, child of God…Attend to the message you hear until it pierces your heart.”

 

The Ensō is the Chinese circle of enlightenment.  It is a one stroke painting cut down to its very essence. It is the essence of simplicity but is very complicated to reach. The student of the Ensō paints it again and again and again.  It is a process, a commitment that is often filled with doubt.   Each time the student shows a new painting to the teacher the teacher questions.  Why did you do this?  Where will you put the calligraphy?  That’s the wrong calligraphy for that painting.  Those are the wrong words. Where will your stamp go?  Each time the student returns to do it again until she begins to question why she ever signed up for this.  Perfectionism is not helpful, if you want to paint an Ensō .

The Ensō student must shed any pretense of excellence and stay close to the core of what the painting of the Ensō teaches; put the attention on what you are doing. Do not let the mind go ahead of the brush in anticipation or look back in criticism.  Judgment is suspended and for a moment the student forgets the small self.  When the brush is lifted off the paper, the Ensō  is finished and there is the realization that what is there is good enough.

Yesterday evening I listened to a presentation by my former Chinese brush painting teacher on his experience of painting the Ensō . As I listened to him speak I was deeply moved by his commitment to his art and by what he went through to remain faithful to his practice.   It was an invitation to look at my own commitment and practice as I train to become a monk.  I hear my teacher’s questions and challenges, her pointing out places of blindness of which I am completely unaware.  There is the going back to look at something again and again, the bouts of discouragement and encouragement too, often enough to want to chuck the whole thing.  And still there is something that says this is what I need to do even though I am not quite sure why.  I don’t rule out a bit of stubbornness.  There is a set of cards in my bathroom and each morning a new one is turned over.  There is one that reads, You Will Continue.  And so I continue.

“Listen” is the first word of St. Benedict’s Prologue to his Rule. I have heard it translated also as, Listen with the ear of your heart.   So what am I to listen for in the painting of the  Ensō ?  What does it teach me? What do I hear?

Painting an Ensō is meant to train the mind to STAY with the moment and realize ultimate Reality. It calls for determination and unwavering dedication, but not stubbornness.  Stubbornness grits the teeth and hardens the heart.  Unwavering determination is steady.  When you get discouraged and want to give up, STAY.  Recommit.  Make it wholehearted and don’t hold a bit back for oneself. Commitment is not a one time thing.  It is a daily practice in daily living. Like an Ensō, living has plenty of wobbles and uncontrollable and unexpected ‘flying white’ (white streaks from the brush) which makes us pay attention.

Don’t criticize and don’t judge.  Accept what is.

 

 

I have been practicing looking into the center of the  Ensō , that empty space, whether in its painted form or seeing  it in my mind’s eye. That center is a place of rest and not only a place of rest but becomes Rest Itself. The Ensō says BE with what shows up.  This is what Listen means for me.

Here comes the Sun!

Humming Bird

Author: Ho Getsu Sen Gen

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on

February 20th – Winter Retreat

A Deeper Embrace

 

 

Listen child of God…attend to the message you hear and make sure it pierces your heart.

 

Here, Benedict asserts the imperative that one go beyond an intellectual understanding of spiritual truths to a deeper embrace, one which emerges from a piercing, personal experience of the teachings.

Recently, I experienced a crisis in my spiritual practice that has moved me to a heartfelt re-dedication to the messages I hear.

The 4 Noble Truths are the core message of Buddhism.  The First Noble Truth: There is suffering.  I know that I have a tendency to put myself above other people.  I know this is one of the ways I suffer.  This tendency was apparent this past week, however, I was blind to it as it unfolded.

My pride is an example of the Second Noble Truth: Suffering is caused by our ego’s craving for life to be more, less, better, happier than it is.  I had become hooked into striving for superiority, and in my disappointment with myself, I plunged into despair and frustration.

Desperate to feel better, I determined to fix myself, once and for all!  Soon I recognized that this too is a pattern.  When I want to be the best and brightest, I suffer.  And, when I want to fix that habit, I suffer.  Eventually, I saw that I was piling craving upon craving.  It led me to this: “Nothing I do works. I DON’T KNOW.”

Although I hold dear the wisdom of the Third Noble Truth, that there is an end to suffering, still I DID NOT KNOW.  Here, my pain met the truth of the teachings and my heart was pierced.  There was a way through my suffering.  I began to see it.

The Fourth Noble Truth tells us to follow the 8-Fold Noble Path to put an end to suffering. The Noble Path teaching which pierced my heart during this recent experience describes Noble Effort.

The efforts of spiritual seekers must be directed toward seeing what we are doing in every moment; as we cross the street, as we talk to a friend, as we make dinner. Unless we are serving the Buddha with consistent attention fixed on what is, the ego slips in, our thinking gears up, and our habits take over.  When we do find ourselves caught in craving, our efforts must orient toward dis-identification with what we want, what we think we know, how we think we can fix.  Though I fully understood these teachings, I was not applying my efforts effectively to my practice.

Egoic thoughts and feelings plant their first seeds of discontent, of the craving described in the Second Noble Truth, in a mind that is unaware.  I had been unaware when pride first crept into my thinking.  A spiritual student, utilizing Noble Effort, resides continually in the gap between her presence and her ego’s desires.  In that gap, she can recognize when suffering’s cause is upon her.  In this full and concentrated presence, being Buddha, she sees that her ego’s drive is a delusion born of false truths.  Her efforts have led her down the path of freedom from the attachments of the ego.  I, in my unaware state, allowed my pride to grab hold and run the show.  I had squandered a precious opportunity to put an end to a bit of suffering.

Such is Noble Effort; the full application of all one’s energy towards the study of the delusions of the mind so that one can let them go.  Noble Effort requires moment-to-moment dedication of a heart that is penetrated by a fervent wish to end suffering.

Humming Bird

Author: Getsu San Ku Shin

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on

February 19th – Winter Retreat

Piercing the Heart

 

 

Listen child of God….attend to the message you hear and make sure it pierces your heart.”

Each morning, I chant Tenzo’s Prayer after I meditate. It begins with the instruction, “Pay full attention to all work. The way-seeking mind is actualized by rolling up your sleeves.” The Prayer ends with the Tenzo (a cook) replying to the question, “What is practice?” Answering, he says, “There is nothing in the world that is hidden from it.”

Tenzo’s Prayer and the quote from Benedict’s Rule seem to make a similar point.

Everything that happens in each moment comes to awaken us. Everything that comes into our lives has spiritual meaning in addition to its meaning in our daily material existence. But, we must listen, attend to the message, roll up our sleeves in order to hear it….to discover it.

Two incidents illustrate this for me.

Often as I enter my grocery store, someone is there asking for money…different people on different days. For some months, there was a woman who sold Streetwise, a newspaper published and sold by homeless individuals. She was quite engaging and greeted shoppers with a dazzling smile and pleasant demeanor. She was there most days regardless of the weather. Eventually she moved on because of good fortune. A wonderful story, but I thought about it no further.

More recently, a different person arrived, regularly asking for money. She had neither a dazzling smile nor a pleasant demeanor and she was demanding. Additionally, I had heard unflattering things about her. After a time, I noticed that I was getting annoyed with her and was reluctant to give her money.

Then slowly, I began noticing that my irritation with her was now irritating me. Several days ago, I thought, what on earth is going on here?  I began to reflect on it. When I ceased focusing on the two women and began to look within, at what I was doing, I saw clearly what I was up to. I was liking, disliking, judging. And it all rested in believing that I could know.

I recalled a line from my daily chanting of the precepts that says, “Realize that likes, dislikes and indifferences of the mind are hindrances to the pure mind.”

I see now that I thought the first woman’s story was wonderful because I liked her. I judged her to be a good person, deserving of generosity and of good things happening to her. I regarded the second woman as unpleasant, demanding, and unattractive. I disliked encountering her and I was withholding towards her. All of this was taking place because I thought I could know… know them, even what was in their hearts. There is much more here for me to deeply reflect upon, but I want to consider a question.

Why was I able to wake up just this little bit?

Since I began training to become a monk last summer, I think I have begun to pay more attention. Nothing magical or mysterious about it. I have been spending more time meditating, writing, reading, chanting, and contemplating in silence and solitude. This deepening of practice, this rolling up my sleeves is supporting me, helping me to focus on the spiritual, so that I am more likely to attend to the messages that come in life in a way that pierces my heart. I understand better that spiritual work and effort is key, if I hope to awaken, even this little bit.

Humming Bird

Author: Zhong Fen li Bao yu Di

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com

Posted on

February 18th Teaching – Winter Retreat 2018

Listen Child of God

 

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

  • School Shooting in Kentucky Was Nation’s 11th of the Year. It Was Jan. 23, 2018 – NY Times

  • VW Suspends Chief Lobbyist Over Diesel Tests on Monkeys and Humans – 2018 Wall Street Journal

  • Yemen: At Least 15 Killed in a Suicide Car Bomb – 2018 Aljazeera

 

Headlines, messages if you will, like these are with us every day.  We feel absolutely glutted by information. We are assaulted by sound bites and tweets and headlines 24/7.  And when we look around we are accosted by ads and more ads.  They pop up on our computer screens and smart phones.  We are encouraged to buy whatever we want, right now.  We are told that by buying what is advertized we will be happier, more fulfilled, glamorous, sexy, better off than those other people who aren’t or can’t buy what is advertized.  And when we are finally able to crawl into bed at night we feel utterly drained, famished by a world full of glitter and no substance.  We go to sleep knowing that the next day will bring more of the same.  Day after day we are slowly starving in this onslaught of messages.

My spiritual story begins with a message I heard nearly 30 years ago.  The world around me, even then, felt glutted and spiritually famished.  But I wasn’t looking for nourishment because I didn’t feel hungry. I was just living my life. In January 1989, on my way home from work, I heard a news report on NPR. The story was about a man who walked into a school yard in Stockton, California with a semi-automatic rifle and killed five children, wounded 32 others and killed himself.  The news stunned me.  I had heard other stories like this, yet this story stayed with me.  It played over and over in my head.  The feeling I had was the need to do something.

At the time, my brother was living with me.  He was studying to become a Shaman and had joined a local Nichiren Buddhist group that practiced chanting.  He was using chanting to tune his auras. When I got home, with the story still in my head, he was heading out to chant with his meditation group. I asked if I could join him.  The group chanted a mantra. I never learned the meaning of the mantra because I was told that just the sound would send positive energy into the world.

As I continued to chant, I started reading Matthew Fox’s The Cosmic Christ and Shamanic stories from my brother.  What I didn’t realize until later was that I was being fed.  It was an unlikely combination of food; Buddhist chanting, the Cosmic Christ and shamanic stories. I was finding nourishment.  It was a slow practice of letting these teachings sink-into my mind and heart.  Week after week, month after month, year after year I continued to sit and chant and study. This practice eventually led me to a Soto Zen practice which led me to a Chan practice which led to my becoming ordained as a Zen priest in the Contemplative Order of Hsu Yun. And as far I can see it all began when I heard a news story that pierced me, that stirred me to respond.

Now, let’s fast forward to last fall when I was asked to suggest a Buddhist related topic to offer at St. Nick’s. At the time I was studying the book, Benedict’s Dharma and suggested I could put together a talk about the book.  My offer was accepted and here we are talking about Benedict’s Dharma and turning it into a Winter Retreat, all from hearing a story on NPR.

You might ask what does my experience have to do with Benedict’s Dharma and Buddhism and spiritual nourishment in a glutted world?

Well, let’s see.

Let’s begin with Benedict’s Prologue.

Listen, child of God, to the guidance of your teacher.  Attend to the message you hear and make it pierce your heart, so that you may accept with willing freedom and fulfill by the way you live the directions that come from your Father.

It is as if he knew about our 21st century world. I say this because he gives us a blue print for how to find nourishment. The work of feeding your starved heart is up to you. All that Benedict or I am able to do is offer a message, a teaching or ask a question which may pierce your heart and change your life.

Let me outline Benedict’s blueprint as a series of questions for each of you to listen to, to ask yourselves and to study. Then I will go over one of the questions using my own experience as an example.

  • Do you listen and what do you listen to?
  • Who is your teacher?
  • What are the messages you hear and follow?

As I re-read the Prologue I realized that my journey into Buddhist practice roughly followed what Benedict was saying. I started with attending to a message…a news story that pushed me into finding spiritual nourishment. It took me quite a long time to listen and find and accept guidance from teachers and teachings and to acknowledge the need for them both. And, it is still difficult!

As I continue with sitting, I find more willingness in myself to accept the teachings and live the directions that come from the teachings. I have to come to realize that teachings are all around me, if only I listen. At the time I didn’t know the truth of the teaching everything comes into my life to awaken me but my own experience shows me time and time again that this is true.

The headlines that I started with are not going away. But the “I” that heard the message has changed. Without knowing it I followed and still follow a message of big T Truth; the ineffable unborn, undying that which cannot be faced or turned away from, the subtle source that is clear and bright. My experience continues to tell me and show me that nothing is left out when we listen and attend to the message that comes into our life from this Source.

Humming Bird

Author: Lao DiZhi Shakya

 

A Single Thread is not a blog. If for some reason you need elucidation on the teaching, please contact the editor at: yao.xiang.editor@gmail.com